Chapter 23: Wherein Things Change

Had some pretty bad nightmares last night, hence the hour I am up. On the positive side these are the first in a long time. There was a time there where I started having them the moment I closed my eyes. 

First Session of DnD:

The party enters the city of Steadfast where it is law that everyone must wear masks, they vanquished a ghost, saved a hobbit from some racist thugs, visited a brothel, accepted an assassination contract, went to a mine, did battle with giant ants and (last but not least) leveled up almost twice.

Gonna go see if there’s a porn called “Detroit Cock City”

My Lovely Tumbles

You all posted such cool stuff today! Glad I follow you, I really needed a pick up!

Writing is Hard

I’ve been slogging through writing a book, which is a slightly discouraging practice knowing that it will likely not be published. Still it’s a form of forward motion. I enjoy talking about writing. I even start to enjoy some writing every once in a while.

I’m just super freaked out about life at the moment. Like I can’t go on. Each second is painful and maddening and just a continuous fountain of fear and worry.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t make it in this world. I can’t be or do like anyone else can. I’m just trapped being expected to do things just so I can fail at them, humiliate myself and permanently scar myself mentally.

Fuck my outlook is not one of positivity. I honestly just feel like shit. Like I am shit. Lower.

This is not going to be a happy time for me.

Tumblr is an Illness That I Guess I Have Now

The moment I stop writing my book I find myself immediately back on Tumblr. I guess it’s a sickness. 

As for the book progress: 4,242 in the past three days. It’s not a LOT of progress but the eight pages that those words make up represent the most progress I have ever made in writing a book. 

Does anyone else hate the entire way the Trolls are viewed? I hate the grumbly gobliny voice that people give them. I hate the way people voice Karkat. I hate the concept that they must have horrific demon vocal chords. 

In my mind the trolls talk exactly like people. Am I alone?  

You guys out there in the homestuck fandom drawing amazing renditions of characters I love are, I have to say, really a huge inspiration in my desire to draw. I’m still not good at all and I don’t work on it as often as I should.

But you guys should all know how helpful you are! 

I am very excited about where this is going.