Chapter 23: Wherein Things Change

I think it important for all of us to stop and remember the humanity of our peers. We spend all of our lives knowing that we ourselves are more than we appear to be, I may be a hipster-looking guy with a big vocabulary who remains either entirely silent or inappropriately jovial on the outside. But on the inside I am and always have been just a little kid who wants to feel loved and appreciated.

I think as human beings we forget that everyone else is living a life too. Those facebook pictures of your ex don’t exist only to remind you of what you lost, those are moments someone is truly living. The guy who cut you off in traffic didn’t do it just so you would give him the finger, he did it because he just learned his wife was in the hospital. At all times, no matter where you are, there are thousands of other lives coursing around you, shifting the world in ways you don’t even notice. For you they are only scenery. But the truth is that the woman that you walked past in the grocery store, holding a kid in one arm and pushing a cart with the other, was young once. At one point she had dreams and hopes and fears and afterwards she will continue to have dreams and hopes and fears. You will never see her again, but she is a person.

We think so often of how the world effects us or how we effect the world, but we never stop to think that ‘the world’ is more or less just a collection of people exactly like we are. Confused. Scared. And hoping to grab whatever they can on their way to the grave.

It’s just a thought.

Today I watched as a black and white snake tried to kill itself. It was a singular experience. Strange and fundamentally disturbing in a way that even I don’t understand. The truth of the matter is it is very hard not to see some small part of myself, standing there with my big hipster glasses and my own black and white coat.

I was walking through the science building on the Truman campus with some friends when one of them pointed out it. She seemed concerned so my eyes were drawn to the focus of her consternation. This snake had begun biting it’s own neck and twisting around itself. The behavior was strange, erratic. It made no sense for this thing to do what it was doing and I couldn’t look away.

For some reason I felt like that snake was me. So determined to destroy itself.

Just some observations.